That said, Corey and Jim were so excited to welcome their little baby girl. And they are both adjusting to parenting, and their new roles, and are so cute, and loving and happy. Corey looks amazing, but we knew she would after we saw how insane she looked during her pregnancy. Baby Nicoletta is so sweet.  Her skin is perfect (even her peely feet, which might be my FAV thing about little babies!).  She is sweet and wide-eyed, and never once fussed (except when she was hungry, and c’mon, I know I still fuss when I am hungry!).  I loved having them at my studio.  And I am so excited for a lifetime of blond hair in my future, and photographs in theirs!

So here are my favorites, not all my favorites because that would be the entire session, but enough so that you understand that this too will be a session that will make me incredibly happy, and undoubtedly end up somewhere on my sample wall, along side Caroline!

Let’s be honest, no one ever, ever, ever wants to have the message delivered that says “you’ve got cancer.” But when the call is made to a young mother, and it’s about her husband, it’s impossible to fathom.  It’s not my experience, and I don’t live it… but I’ve had the privilege of knowing Stacey as she’s gone through it. And I can tell you that from the outside looking in, she is tremendous.

Because of this connection, and that I owed Stacey her slideshow, and because she has her “Marathon Walk” to benefit the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute coming up (more info and donations here), I thought it would be an awesome time to check in and chat.

For those of you that don’t know Stacey, or this is your first time hearing her story… she is a young mom of adorable twins.  Her husband Joey was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme when she was two months pregnant and he passed away when the twins were six months old.  She works full time and “on the side” she runs her late husbands HVAC business.  She never sleeps, she has boundless energy, and she’s a very funny girl.  She sort of makes me look like I lay on the couch eating bon-bons all day.

I pulled up a few images to go with the post… they are both happy, and sad, but either way, they are so, so important. [Please be patient, the first slideshow might take a minute to appear].

[blogshow id=7b39 player=1 autoplay=0 toolbar=1]

It’s been 2.5 years since Joey passed away.  And while it’s your life, not mine, I can’t decide if that time has flown, and if it feels like a lifetime ago or if it feels like yesterday.  How does it feel to you?

Some days I feel like it was years ago another life that I had. And, then some days when I have time to “think” about what happened or see an action or smile in my children’s faces and see their father and I feel like it was just yesterday that I lost him or when I have a dream and wake up and reach for my cell phone and want to call him and can’t, it feels like it just happened.

Tell us the back story… you found out you were pregnant and found out he had cancer all within a few days of each other.

Joey and I had been trying for about a year to get pregnant. I found I was pregnant and when my levels were so high, we went in June for an ultra sound and found out we had twins…  On a Monday we found out it was cancer, few days later twins, and then a few days later brain surgery. To this day it’s all surreal and I truly don’t recall a lot of what happened or how it was delivered to us….. it was just like walking through a fog. Actually, the majority of my pregnancy is a fog because there was only one focus and that was Joey.

Joe was able to spend six months with his children, then he passed.  How do you keep him alive for them?

We talk about their father and have photos of him on the walls and in their rooms. I try to continuously tell them about their father and how strong, smart and brave he was and that he loved them very much. And, just recently showed them our wedding video. And, remind them constantly that he is always watching them from “up above, in heaven”.

Was there a particular milestone or time amount that passed that made you think “I can do this?”

I can tell you that “not doing this” was never an option. I knew from the diagnosis and the failure of several treatments that his health was not good and that we were on borrowed time and I had to make this work for us. God was taking one, but leaving me with two precious jewels that I had to take care of and be there for; there was no choice.

The twins are 3 now… and are beautiful and happy and well-adjusted… what has been key to making this happen?

Getting us to 3, we’ve definitely had ups and downs and lots of tears, but I think by keeping Joey’s memory alive and talking about him, Joey’s family staying involved in their day to day lives, my mother whom moved in to support me and the kids, and reminding them that we are a team and we get through things together has helped us to get where we are.  I also think that when they ask or cry or say they miss there daddy by acknowledging their feelings and just saying “I do too,” and “yes this is not fair” helps them not feel alone.

What do you do on the days you just can’t get out of bed?  Or for you, on the days that you can’t sleep for even one minute (as I know you are always awake!)?  How do you push through?

Sleep is a pastime favorite — looking forward to teenage years and dragging them out of bed!   I used to worry about everything. But, now to survive the day, I’ve learned not to worry about the future just get through today and what needs to be done. I take numerous deep breaths through out the day.

Describe a perfect day.

A perfect day….  I’ve slept at least 4 hours, the twinettes awake easily to get dressed; lunches packed, and back packs together so Gram can get them out the door by 9:30 to go to school. I begin with a decent ride to Boston via Route 1 South by 7:45 to make into work 9 and then I get my perfect commute home and am with kiddos by 6:30 so I can have some day light to play with them before bed time.

I traveled Europe for 2 months by myself.  I was in the Philippines for a short time.  I LOVE to cook.  Neat freak.  Love love the theatre.

Stacey, thank you so much for being so candid… and for the honesty and going back to those days.  You are an amazing lady and I am so glad I know you.  Here are you latest images, from our awesome beach session… best light I’ll get all year! [Watch this one full screen!]

Yesterday, I did something that is not typical of my normal behavior.  I vented, publicly, on Facebook.  If you know me, you know that I have my little trust tree, and that a close group of girls climb up into it bring me a cocktail, a snack, and they let me air out.  And when I’m done, we are laughing, I feel better, and we all climb on down to the ground (I swear we can still watch our kids from up there!).  I don’t see the internet as a place to vent about clients, vendors, or other photographers.  And yesterday I let that slip.  After deleting my posts, I thought long and hard about the takeaway.  How could I use it to push me to be better?  Had I been the offender?  What could I both learn and teach from it?

I am going to omit the specifics of my situation, because rather than point a finger, I am going to try to swipe broadly and hope that there are positive takeaways from this.  As always, there will be people who will vehemently disagree with me.  All I can do is repeat what I have in the past: if it bothers you, please make sure that you ask yourself “WHY?” before you reply.  Because typically when I find myself either taken aback, or feeling insulted, or completely opposed, I realize it’s because the person has struck something at my core, that either I’ve been trying to resolve… or trying to hide.  And so whether or not I planned it, this type of feedback, criticism, or enlightenment ends up being a growing experience for me.

The issue at hand is originality, authenticity, and downright plagiarism.

Please understand, this is not a new issue, nor is it one that has happened on a recurring basis to me as it has to some of my truly amazing and talented colleagues.  That said, one of the most publicized portrait photography copy-cat instances — the Groupon Photographer — copied my “About Me” section from my old blog.  Overall, I feel like a lot of my work is fairly straightforward and classic, and so is it easy to copy and did I perhaps copy from others?  You bet… I can’t really claim that I invented “OK, everyone look at the camera and smile.”

There are so many aspects to this, and it is a source of endless, and exhausting discussions, so let’s tackle the easiest piece first: plagiarism.  In the Groupon case, she copied and pasted my About Me wording, and used it on her site (along with most of Jodie Otte’s images). If I recall, there were about 10 words added in, and about 10 words taken out, so had I entered it exactly (with quotations) into my browser, or copyscape, an identical match would not have appeared.  However, my statement was something to the effect that I was locked in my office, drinking coffee and them finding me was like finding a set of lost keys.  I wrote that because at the time, I was working at IBM, I literally NEVER left my office, and when I emerged, my friends were so excited — like they never expected to see me again, and what I surprise, there I was just like lost keys!  Her About Me statement had the elements “Locked in my office, coffee and lost keys.”  Now every other photographer seems to mention coffee (or wine) in their About Me section, so does it make it unique (no) or generic (yes)?  But coupled with the other elements, even while not an exact word match, made it too similar to mine.  And when you continued to read, you could see where she’d left out a word, or perhaps spelled out “it is” from my “it’s.”

The point is, I wrote that statement because it was so AUTHENTIC to who I was at that moment — when I remember it now, it immediately takes me back to that exact time in my life.  There is just no way that a photographer with a seemingly thriving business, and a studio who wanted to bring in a ton of business via Groupon, could have felt that same exact way.  And people knew instantly that it didn’t ring true, and that it wasn’t authentic.

Creating a blog or a website can be daunting — so much text you have to come up with.  How do you sound witty, smart, like the chic girl next door who will never make you say cheese and wants to capture the in between moments and “tell your story?”  You can buy the content.  It’s easy.  There is a TON of content out there for purchase.  I won’t knock that, I think I bought some when I was starting out.  And when you BUY it, you are PAYING for the right to use content that someone else came up with.  FAIR & SQUARE.  But when you COPY it from someone else, whether they live in the next town over, or across the country, it’s ILLEGAL.  And it’s wrong.  It’s essentially looking at a fellow photographer and saying “I don’t value you or the industry at all, I have no respect for the time and work that you put into developing this, and I am just going to take it.”  Whoever says “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” can go to hell.  Exact imitation shows not only a total lack of respect, but it also puts a spotlight on what you have failed to learn to do yourself.

The photography world, particularly lifestyle newborn, children and family photographers, seems to be incredibly inbred.  There are about 5 sets of parents (parent = major user forum), and many photographers are birthed from there (I was!).  People read blogs and follow websites, and catch on to trends and generally all strive for the next best thing.  And so this plagiarism line gets very blurry.  If you Google  “natural light lifestyle photographer” for your city, chances are that within the first page or two, you will find at least 5 photographers who have an About Me section that states that they picked up a camera after the birth of their first child, they’ll never make you say cheese, and then they will proceed to list things they like.  Did they all copy each other?  Probably not.  It’s a trend.  If two people have an almost identical like list and and there are enough words/sentences that are uncannily similar, then I’d bet one “inspired” the other.  And one of those people is not being authentic, and the other is probably steaming mad.  So should you not follow the trend because you are worried about plagiarizing? No, you can do whatever feels right to you… but come up with it YOURSELF.  And if it feels like it’s similar to something you’ve read before, it probably is.  Sit on it, mull it over.  And at some point during the week or so, you’ll have an ah-ha moment and think “THIS is what I want them to know about me… and it’s SO ME” (not who I want to be, but ME as I am).

Originality and authenticity are tough nuts to crack.  No doubt it feels like almost everything has been done before.  And when you are just starting out in business, you have superstars, or maybe even just the girl next door, that you blogstalk (or now FB stalk).  And so it’s natural that you begin to believe that you want to build a portfolio similar to theirs.  You start to almost think you are friends, because you have read them every day, commented, and maybe even received a response back.  And when that happens, you begin to think it’s possible.  And so you covet their style, you find out what actions they use to process, what lenses they like to shoot with, you might even purchase the same template as them or print at their labs.  But you are missing one MAJOR element.  YOU AREN’T IN THEIR HEAD, YOU HAVEN’T WALKED A MILE IN THEIR SHOES, AND YOU DON’T SEE THE WORLD THROUGH THEIR EYES.  And that’s OK, you see it through yours, and you bring your own experiences to the plate.  So rather than try to take on their style, think about how you make it unique.  What’s the first thing you see when YOU get to a session location?  Is it the same fence post you’ve seen photographed there time and again?  Or is it a hydrant?  Because yeah, you can shoot the shit out of someone leaning in a particular pose against a split rail, just as you’ve seen, or you can think “that hydrant has awesome fresh paint, I bet I could do a headshot with them sitting there and no one would ever know it was a hydrant!”  The point is, you can’t take someone else’s scenario and slot in your subjects.  It’s not your vision, it’s theirs.  Does that mean you can’t shoot in a public place because someone else shoots their?  Hell no!  In fact, last year I told Sarah Freel to shoot at the Coolidge Estate for a session (a private location where I had permission to shoot) and she came out with some shots and I thought “Holy cow, I am not sure in my 50+ shoots here that I have EVER captured a kid like that!”

Newborn photography makes it even that much more difficult.  There are endless props and endless workshops and in many cases, there just isn’t a whole lot of immediate differentiation between “curl up and sleep on a beanbag.”  But there are people that get it right like Amber Scruggs – Little Moon Photography (and many other fabulous photographers who are gracious enough to share in workshops – some only to have it taken advantage of).  Amber shoots something crazy like 12-24 newborns a month.  And she doesn’t even copy herself.  If you know her, she is meticulous about selection her hats, her props, her backdrops, and while she might repeat poses, almost never does she copy her own setups exactly.  She challenges herself by assessing what is in HER MIND that day, that she is seeing with HER EYES, and using HER EXPERIENCE of what works and what doesn’t, and then adjusting and adapting that to the UNIQUE NEWBORN that is in her studio.  If she can do that for all of her sessions, shouldn’t you (or I) be able to do that for ours, whether we shoot 1 or 15 newborns a month?  So is it being unoriginal if you put a baby in a bucket (safely!)?  Yes and no.  But it is copying if you ask Amber for a list of her fabric and prop vendors and then you buy the same blanket and hat, and put it in the same bucket, and position the baby the same way.  And after all that, since it’s not your setup, and it didn’t come from your heart, soul and experience, will the image really be that good?

To this day, I stick with the mode of operation that if I feel like I’ve seen it before, I verify that and do due diligence to make sure that I am not stepping on toes.  And if I am, I quickly back off, and spend some time thinking about how I can present my idea in a way that is uniquely me, without ever devaluing the original source.  Case in point:  I’ve had an idea brewing for a while about people and things I wanted to focus on as a blog side project.  I networked with some women, and I got about 50% through baking my idea.  And while the term “Mamapreneur” is hardly unique, and many people interview Small Business Owners on their blogs, my idea felt close (not an exact copy, but CLOSE) to what I’d seen on the ever-talented, and amazing stylish and artistic Stephanie Piscatelli from Bellini Portraits.  Not feeling right, even though I know the origins of my idea, I emailed Stephanie.  Is she one town over?  No, but sort of same market, maybe cross over blog readership or FB likes.  She described to me the origins and history of her Mamapreneur series and also described how it had been copied before.  And while my idea was only close, after working through a few stages (irritation, ah-ha, embarrassment, relief), I realized it would probably be disrespectful of me to move forward how I planned.  I back-burnered it.  It simmered.  I thought about where I was in my life, and how I needed to bring these experiences to light, and I embarked on a project that is now so different, and unique to me, without ever detracting or devaluing anything Stephanie has worked so hard to build.  Did it suck for a minute?  Yes.  Did I feel a bit defensive working through the process (seriously, I am NOT copying your idea, this idea was MINE)?  You bet.  Am I beyond happy that I gave it time, and now have something that I own all on my own?  Absolutely.  Do I still drool over almost everything Stephanie produces.  God, yes.  Is her style mine?  No.

There is such an incredible difference between imitation and inspiration.  Imitation is replication.  Inspiration is being awed, and then putting your own spin on it.  There is inspiration EVERYWHERE.  It’s YOUR JOB as a photographer, and an artist, and a business person, to figure out how to OWN IT in your own way.  Learning this, on your own, is the only way you can build a brand that is AUTHENTIC to you.  I can’t repeat it enough, as it was handed down to me by I think Audrey Woulard during a mentoring session, “If your brand isn’t AUTHENTICALLY YOU, it will fall flat and FAIL.”  You have to start somewhere, you have to begin learning, and imitation may be part of that process, but until you have figured out how to make what you do authentically yours, you need to take a step back and evaluate where you are in the development of your business and brand.  It is SO HARD to survive in this industry.  I consider myself successful, however not a month goes by when I don’t want to say “what have I done and can I really sustain this?”  It’s that hard and I’ve done all the work.  I can’t imagine declaring myself in business and not having tackled this challenge.

Nothing is more true than the cream rising to the top with photographers.  So do yourself a favor and don’t take milk from someone else’s cow, but go get your own and figure out how to cream it yourself.

[If you like this article, and want to read more, check out my Learning Resources posts on this blog or on Facebook].

So we shot this at my studio. It was supposed to be a mini session, but I have such a hard time keeping it mini when my clients are like old friends!  I think Michelle was a little confused when she walked in… what’s this big white room… where’s the studio part?  It’s evolving, but I can still shoot and have it turn out exactly as I like.  It makes me so happy that on a rainy Sunday, I can still eek out a natural light session in there!

So until we meet the babe, here are the other three!  Let me know what you think!

I love sneaking out on Sunday mornings.  I love it when it’s in the high 70s in March.  I love Charlestown.  I love repeat clients.  I love clicking with parents so that it’s just really easy to shoot.  And I love super cute kiddos.

Meet Corey & Jim.  I photographed their beautiful wedding on Halloween weekend.  You know, the one during the snowstorm?  It is sort of ironic that I shot their maternity session the only other day this winter when there was snow on the ground.  And it was about 20 degrees out.  Cold cold cold.  So we shot indoors, but that’s fine, we were able to accomplish some beautiful studio shots, not all of which I can share.  Suffice to say, the are dramatic, and gorgeous, because, well, so is Corey.

In addition to the studio shots, we played around with Clementine… she was awesome.  My studio is dog friendly, and I am more apt to stock dog treats than I am lollipops!  And at the end, we thought it was important to capture Jim, just the way he is… just a simple guy from KC who likes his BBQ and bourbon!  I laugh when I think of how many husband/client discussions are had around meat smokers, rubs, marinades and where the best butcher might be.

I should add that Corey is the one responsible for my awesome hair color, as she works at the FABULOUS Giraud Studio (for North Shore folks, they are beyond exceptional).  But I almost hate saying that, for their sake.  For those of you who see me on a daily basis, well, you know it’s not often pretty (dare I admit I’ve been standing in dried sweat workout clothes for a few hours now… and I haven’t actually “done” my hair in 4 days… and by “done” I really mean “brushed”).  But when I do wash, dry and “do” my hair, usually I get some form of a compliment and I sort of lob that right back over to Corey (and  Joanna… and Omar… and, well, Heidi!).

So here are the images.  I am dying to get the text that Corey is in labor.   I can’t wait for her newborn session! Actually, that’s a lie.  I am completely conflicted because my hair is ripening as we speak, but I need probably another two weeks before it’s ready… and that’s Corey’s due date.  There is a teeny tiny little part of me that is whispering “how dare she.”

I photographed Jess & Sean’s wedding (with Amy Ro). When we arrived to shoot their engagement session, I almost fell over because it was directly across the street from my old apartment. But even funnier was that Owen and I had seriously considered buying their home and had spent a good amount of time checking it out with a real estate agent! Fast forward to their amazing wedding… and then fast forward even farther to the announcement that TJ had arrived!

Heading into Charlestown is like coming home to me. On route to coffee with my cousin Susan prior to my session, I ran into Abby, who owns Olivia Browning, and event planned Jessica & Sean’s wedding (and we just completed her session)! During coffee, I run into another client from years back, and then continue the Friends-of-Friends-of-Clients-of-Neighbors drill that is my {entertaining} life. I find out that Jessica and Monica have become friendly (Monica being a good friend and the other bride I shot that same summer!). My arrival to Jessica’s was just an extension of all this, as if I was popping in to visit an old friend and meet her new baby.

TJ is a LOVE. Honestly, sometimes I worry a bit photographing the 6-weeker. Not at all sleepy in that peaceful way (although I bet he crashed when I left, my exit always brings on big naps). Usually a bit of funny skin going on. Often just getting out of that cranky 4-6 week period that I know, as a mom, made me certifiable. But not TJ. He woke up and ate just as I arrived, and from then on, was cooing, and smiling, and as wide-eyed as any little boy can be for his beautiful Mom. He is gorgeous, with a little sideways glance, a widows peak, perfect skin and big blue eyes. What’s so neat for me is having spent time with both his parents, I could say “Oh, wait, I swear I just saw Sean…” or “Jessica, he is all you right now!” And I know that Jessica is able to see glimpses of her brother, and for that, I think both genetics and generations are truly the most amazing gifts we have.

But more than that, Jessica is a mother. And an amazing one at that. By about week six, I am fairly certain I was hysterical… I remember thinking “How can I go back to work in a week if I can’t even get to Starbucks?” But Jessica seems to be managing it well, with a sense of calm, and perhaps a bit of “sometimes I am not sure what I am doing, but I know I am doing it right.” It’s so hard to manage the pressures of a new baby and then adding in work, marriage, friends… well, it begins a very long, 18 year long, production of spinning many, many plates in the air. She will do it well, that I know. And from what I hear, Sean is a rockstar dad. And while I didn’t see him, Jessica let me know just how great he is with his little buddy… and how they are already best friends, and how in an instant he’ll whisk him away so Jess can have just a minute.

I am sort of gushing. Can you tell? I just love watching new families grow into each other and I love watching how relationships and connections evolve. And I am eternally grateful that people think to include me in them and allow me to document just a little bit, and to help tell their story.