Anyway, rarely do I plan a session for friends, in advance, and have it executed to perfection. Friends, and I love you dearly, often have a habit of rescheduling, not really prepping, running in on short notice, or waiting until the last minute. As you all know, I live and die for my friends and so honestly, I am giving you all the business, I love doing your sessions no matter what the time or circumstances. But for this, Jen & Missy really planned. They brought dinner for the kiddos (big yummy cups of Mac-n-Cheese), delicious foccacia and spreads fresh from the market, and of course a host of beverages that made our red Silo cups proud. With that, we had some insane early fall weather, the most perfect sunset, and accommodating kids (excluding, perhaps, some moments with mine). I have long since believed that pretty much any problem in the world can be solved if you are barefoot with a stiff cocktail at the beach when the sun is going down… and not that we had problems to solve, but there is something about it that makes you not want to be anywhere else in the world.

It was such a fun night, and I happily handed over my camera so the girls could shoot some of me… and once we established that the “red dot” goes on the face (not on Bandit chasing Brighton in the background), we were all set and I am so happy we captured what we did.

I should note that the most willing participants of the evening were the four rockin’ rescue dogs we brought with us. We love our dogs. We saved them each from a different fate, but surely one that would have had a terrible end, and I think we can all say our lives are better for having them with us.

But look at these two belligerent faces. “Sit next to each other and smile” is so far out of their comprehension.

This one is simply evidence that not everything I plant dies.

And these two are my favorites because each image is the epitome of each child’s personality.

During this time I started following some rescue groups on Facebook. We started chit-chatting about the Myopia hounds. Still, not really the right time. But then I saw a listing for three male Chessies, possibly pure bred, found wandering down the street in South Carolina. We filled out the application. Who knows. Ten days later, no one had claimed them. Still, who knows. But we got to thinking… yes, our life is hectic. But when will it not be? Yes, our kids are little. But that also means we are way less scheduled then we’ll be in a year when they are less little (it also means that I am home with them two days a week). Yes, we work a lot. But we work from home most of the time, and my new studio (more on that later) is dog friendly when sessions are not in progress. We live in a great town, on a road with a river, and we have an acre. Why not?

And so Sunday morning, the lovely pups made their way to Topsfield, via some incredibly loving and caring people that helped to make it all happen: Heather, from New England Lab Rescue; Laura, the amazing driver who brought them to us; Terri Lee, such a good friend and confidante and protector of those who cannot protect themselves; Jen, who listens to everything I say and worry about, and Lyne, who selflessly agreed to foster the two brothers that we didn’t adopt.

Yes, I was gunning for two dogs, hell, three… no, we didn’t get more than one. It was a tough decision, but in truth, the very minute that I laid eyes on “Big Lumpy,” I knew that he was the boy for us. He was the biggest (perhaps tracking to over 80 lbs), the calmest, and the hairiest. He is a love. And so our “plus one” is here: Brighton Fudgie McNugget Big Lumpy Young.

If you happen to know anyone that knows about the Chessie breed and is looking to adopt a smart, active and wonderful 5-7 month old male, please email me for details… the brothers are still available and up for adoption.

[Brighton is wearing a red leash and a brown or red collar... the other two in blue and green are available].
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These are from a very perfect August evening last summer.  We sort of did house stuff all day and swam in the pool, and then around 3PM packed up some cold ones and snacks and headed to Crane Beach, one of our favorite beaches.  Owen was talking about how Long Island beaches have such tremendous surf (and they really do!), so it was a let down when he moved up here (he surfs).  However, now he understands the benefit of a gradual decline into the ocean, and lovely little sand bars that pop up at low tide — perfect for containing our children in knee deep water.

This was a lovely, dreamy day that probably ended with grilling or Clam Box takeout… I think everyone in town had the same night that night… summer-end perfection.

[Disclaimer: I will probably use the images of Christofer for a wonderful tutorial about blowing the red channel at sunset on the beach.  I see it over and over and it makes me cringe.  So although I love these for my own, there are technical reasons as to why  they probably are not good enough to show a client.  If you are confused  as to why I say that, stay tuned.]

Just a day in September.  I’m having an existential crisis about gear.  They are just being intrinsically them.  Oh how happy they make me.

I was VERY close to not blogging these images of Christofer out of total embarrassment that he is again wearing that red Appaman t-shirt that is actually a hand-me-down from Teddy & Beau.  Clearly it’s the only thing I dress him in, according to my photographs.  Aren’t I going to be embarrassed when I finally make books and Christofer is wearing THE.EXACT.SAME.OUTFIT in every image?

That said, every single pixel in every single one of these images simultaneously makes me smile and breaks my heart into a million pieces.  They make me sing when I see my boy gripping his beloved trains, they make me scared because I love him so much and they make me hurt because I will spend my life trying to protect him and keep him safe.  I never imagined it was possible to have an extension of my soul in someone else’s body.

Then there is this girl. As Owen says, she is the Master of my World. My mother just laughs and says “You just wait until 8th grade when you are chasing her down the street screaming because she’s wearing blue eyeliner to school.” Honestly, my life is catering to her every want and need. Five nights out of every week she’s in the middle of our bed, stretched out, yelling her demands even in her sleep (“Where’s my nah-nah… get me my sophie!”). But really, how can I not love her with everything I’ve got? She is, after all, the most beautiful girl in the world. She is my “I-do-it-by-myself-changing-outfits-5-times-a-day-laughing-singing-screeching-teeny-tiny-pick-me-uppie-very-silly-girl” girl. She will be voted “most likely to jump into life with both feet.” She will break a thousand hearts I fear.

[Her outfit is courtesy of Estelle at Kenzie Kids. Don't you love it?!]

I wrote up a little perspective on both sessions and what I was thinking and hopefully give you insight on some things you can plan prior to your session.

For the session with Amanda Burse, I paid for it. Full price.  Why?  Especially when I knew I would have a swap session with Jennifer Shore?  Many reasons.  Primarily, I wanted to be a client.  I wanted to hire someone who had a style different from my own, whose work I admired, and I just wanted to think nothing of shooting, and just be there.   Very unintended, my session with Amanda allowed me to put myself in my client’s shoes.   I now really understand the anxious emails, the wait, the urge to right-click and most important, just how it feels to part with your money.

My swap with Jennifer was a wonderful gift and I hope she and I can continue this bartering deal we have!

Still, why would I need a session – or even two?  Don’t I have enough images of my own?  Why would I showcase someone else’s work, on my blog, on Facebook and in my house?  There was a time when I thought paying someone was crazy.  I was quite sure I was “photographer enough” to never have to do that.  But I’ve been doing this for long enough to know that sometimes it’s just really nice to see your family from the outside.  I really wanted to be “in” some of the photographs — not just where I have set up the shot and handed my camera to someone else.  I wanted to be in them as in “present” — with my family, enjoying it, not worrying that the settings would change or the image would be out of focus.  It’s not to say people around me can’t photograph us, it’s just been a long time since I’ve seen a multiple images that were wall sized worthy.  So that is why, even as a professional photographer, I still need to hire someone for my own family session.

Next came the questions “What to Wear?” and “Where to Shoot?”  Before I could answer those questions, I really thought about what I wanted to do with these images. This is a critical step in planning your session.  To shoot blindly, without advance planning, means that you might end up with a lot of “what the heck do I do with these?” images.

I knew that I wanted large images for our family room, specifically to hang over our fireplace and possibly on one of the other walls.  Our family room, like most of our downstairs, is really warm, browns, exposed brick, army greens and dark yellows… outside the windows are trees, greens and a lot of pine needles!  Our downstairs has a lot of texture to it, so in my head I thought canvas.  We are a beach family, but that’s not what our house looks like, so for each session I wanted to bring the outside in and really sync with the same overall feel.

I also wanted some images of our family for over our bed.  Although I love our wedding images, all four of us start every single morning together in bed talking, and so it feels right that all four of us be on our walls [we still have some wedding images that will stay framed on other walls].  Our bedroom is lighter and airier than downstairs and we are in the process of updating all our pieces to honey wood, or antiqued distressed white so I had a clean framed look in my mind.

I also knew that I’d give some gift prints or mini-mounts to our parents, and that it would be nice to have some framed 5X7s and 8X10s in other parts of the house.  I definitely didn’t want to over do it, but if you see how little I have on my walls now, you’d understand.

Knowing my goals prior to the session really helped me think through “What to Wear?” and “Where to Shoot?”

I wanted to make the most of both sessions and do an outfit change.  There’s always a chance that when you see yourself, you might think “What on EARTH made me wear that?”   Two outfits provide insurance against that, it also gives you variety.  For both sessions, I started with me.  I knew if I didn’t like what I was wearing, I’d hate the entire session.  From there I planned for the rest of the kids.  For our session with Amanda, I went with two sets of clothing, all generally coordinating colors to our environment and to each other.  For our session with Jennifer, I knew we were in a more stark setting (on purpose) and so I chose very basic colors, all different solids.

For locations, I wanted one session to be on River Road, because that is where I shoot all time and I love the old abandoned mansion.  For the other, I found a location that I’d never shot at, but it was exactly what I was looking for and I drive by it almost daily — barren, flat light, a ton of texture.  I really wanted it to look seasonally opposite to our summer session because fall and winter is {to me} as lovely as summer, and that’s sort of what my downstairs feels like.  As a side note, my “Jennifer session” was also my 40th birthday, so I will always be happy with that as a gift.

So again, even though we are a big beach family and so much of our life is about surf, sun and fun, that’s not the vibe that works with my display goals [although I have BIG plans for our imaginary beach house in Quogue].  I really kept that in mind when I chose our location, our outfits and the seasonal timing of our session.

Luckily, Owen understood the importance of this to me.  He might not have two years ago.  He might have rolled his eyes, knowing that he’d rather be at home or fishing or just somewhere else.  But he’s seen me deliver enough canvases to other families and wonder “Where are ours?”  He also knew that this would make me really happy, having us all there.  Too many times I come home from a session and think “those were awesome, but bummer Dad wasn’t there.”  Honestly, if you are making the investment, try to include the entire family.  One – two hours (give or take) might seem like a hassle, but they really are images that will last you a lifetime.  I will be totally frank when I tell you that I have had family members show up and NOT want to participate, for whatever the reason.  When they get their gallery either (1) they are so happy that they did because they realize what it means to have those captures or (2) they feel really bad that they didn’t (or they pouted or smirked) because they can’t get that time back to do it over.  Having a willing spouse, if even for only an hour, really ties it all together.

So again, why all this planning?  Primarily because Custom Photography is an investment, even for me.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Unless you can go shake a money tree that grows in your yard, you owe it to yourself and your wallet to put some thought into the execution.  You don’t want to come away thinking “Why did I wear that shirt?” or “I didn’t plan this well around my kid’s schedule” or “I have no idea what I want to do with these images.”

I realize that in a tight market, spending money on photography might be a luxury that doesn’t seem affordable.  Trust me.  I get it.  We were pressed to our limits last year, both of us starting at zero with new businesses in a bad economy.  But I knew there would never be a perfect time — there are always more pressing expenses — childcare, a new heating boiler, or a new car.  I tucked money away in my sock drawer for a while for my session with Amanda and was so grateful that Jennifer and I were able to swap.   I think it’s important that you know this because even for me in my own occupation, it’s a big investment.  And so any time you spend your hard earned dollars on this investment, not only am I extremely grateful, but I feel what it means to you.  Again, I encourage any professional photographer to go through the process of being a PAYING client so they can truly understand what it means to spend.

So the takeaways…

• I love my images from both sessions.

• I am glad I planned what to wear well in advance because I realized that to achieve the look I wanted was not happening in our closets nor could I have figured it out at the last minute.

• I wish I had lost that last 10-15 pounds but that will come someday and I can’t put myself on hold until I do.  I wanted to look better in some of the images, but I took some time, walked away from them, and came back and looked at that with the perspective of an outsider.  Were they beautiful photography? (yes) Did she capture what I asked for? (yes)  Would I look back in a few years and be eternally grateful I have the images? (yes) Did they depict my life as it is today? (yes) Did they tell the story of us? (yes)  Will I ever be happy with me? (probably not)  And so I decided that they were marvelously perfect imperfections and then I really fell in love with them.

• Neither session netted out with one “everyone smile and look at the camera” family portrait… and I am totally fine with that… my life is made up of all the wonderful loud, crazy, happy, trying and loving “in between” moments… and my kids are 2 & 4… and Owen and I are human.  So displaying a few images together helps us tell our story and shows way more love and emotion than “one perfect image” ever would.

• Both sessions really helped me understand the overall client experience and gave me some great takeaways for things I will implement in my own business.

I am eternally grateful to both Jennifer and Amanda for capturing what they did.  Here are some favs.  I’ll post pictures when all my images are finally displayed in my home!

Images from Amanda Burse – La Bella Vita Photography

Images from Jennifer Shore Photography.

BUT NOT WHEN WE ARE SNOWED IN WITH NO ESCAPE.

AND NOT WHEN WE LOSE POWER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

AND NOT WHEN I TRY TIRE THEM OUT BY RUNNING THEM OUTSIDE AND REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO CARRY JANEY AND CHRISTOFER IS FROZEN AFTER 5 MINUTES.

When that happens, it’s not so fun.  So as long as I ignore what is probably jumping on the bed and potty talk in the next room, I can safely say we have ALMOST made it through the storm and we are very excited for school tomorrow.  In the mean time, I did manage to sit them down and force some smiles out of them.

I do love them to pieces.  They are pure happiness [most of the time].

This time of year just feels like a disaster.  I have so many sessions, all of which I love.  Really love [I don't blog a lot of them because I don't want to ruin holiday card and gift surprises].  And I say “I am all booked,” but then I feel bad that I am not shooting more and fitting in last minute clients, so I go ahead and book.  Then I realize that I’ll never get it all done in time.  Then I tell myself that I always get it all done in time.  So as soon as I promised myself “no more sessions,” I went and booked two more.  So the net of it is, I am DONE with sessions [meaning I am not booking any more, I am still shooting the ones I have scheduled].  For now.  If I can have every current client taken care of (meaning galleries out and cards designed and orders in process), I will open up sessions for the first week of December for anyone who can stand to be last minute.  So that’s that. [For the few people that are on my wait list, I'll get with you to see what we can do].

In the mean time, I think things are good here.  Kids are happy.  Owen is happy.  I am happy.  My ears are still a mess, but that’s just the way my ears work.  Mom is better, and yes, I’ve already roped her into coming up to sit for a few hours tomorrow, because I am just like that [actually, it's really just because we miss her!].  I am on the count down to my big birthday, lots of reflections, but I think of how good things are and I realize that the big-four-oh is going to be awesome because mentally I’ve been getting younger ever years since about 32!  Enough of that.  Here are the kids.

I love how she looks at him.  She loves him so much.

Except when she is trying to push him off her.  And actually, she’s a little more mean to him than he is to her.  But she’s a chick, and a beautiful one at that, so there you have it, she can be.

And this.  This is pure unbridled four year old love.  There are just not enough words.

Happiness is firing off one shot and getting this.  And then almost fallen backwards into a swampy cold pond.  But I got it. And that’s all that matters.  I might love this one into a canvas.  Everything that is imperfect about it is so perfect to me.

Anyway, amidst some bad fall allergies, the need to get up from my desk, and my OCD to make sure my lenses are not acting up, I shot a quick sesh with the kids.  Let’s clear a few things up right away, this really was just to test my 24-70 2.8L lens to ensure it wasn’t back-focusing, so I put a few important measures to the side.  For instance, many of these are compositionally wrong.  There are chopped limbs galore and yes, I blew out the whites in Janey’s dress.  To state the more obvious, Janey has a teething rash and drip nose from her molars and her diaper is sort of dragging.   Christofer went inside the house after school and changed into something he preferred (“pants with no buttons and no zippers” and a strange summer obsession with long sleeve t-shirts that once belonged to the Fellows boys), my chair needs a final coat of paint (and you should see how cute the blue one looks!).  And the Joe-Joes.  I am sure there are many of you people who frown upon chocolate sandwich cookies at 5:30PM just before dinner (you know who you are, you use salad forks at dinner… mwah).  But my kids won’t give me the time of day if I have my camera in my hand and I REALLY needed to test my lens before my session tomorrow, and so you do what you can.

Anyway, no idea WHY I decided to choose these to blog, other than it’s sort of typical of how we roll here at Casa de 157, just trying to keep it real, yo.

I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say it out loud, but I have been known to lick the side of his face… and to play incessantly with his hair.

I love the progression here from “Fun… are you done… seriously lady, get over it.”

And how in a matter of seconds they go from uber cute and in love to stone-faced children that have no time for my antics.  Do you get what I mean when I say “they gang up on me!”?

Honestly, with the hair pretty, have you ever? [And for you 24-70 haters... look at how crisp that dust and grime and my chair is, back in love with this lens.]

You are probably thinking that these next two are totally unrelated.  They aren’t.  They are related (was that a double negative sentence?)  Image on left is what the demon child looks like when she’s about to take something… with great force.  Image on right is what unsuspecting wounded older brother looks like in the aftermath.

And finally, my girl.  With the slight shadow of a dent in her forehead, just above the left eye… Janey-left-eye-Young… sad evidence of what happens when Mommy chooses to make coffee rather than to help her little girl down the stairs.  Fortunately, she has forgotten and lives her life thinking “Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing…”

Good night my friends.  If you’ve stayed with me this long.  Off to move Christofer to his bed, and no doubt me to Janey’s bed.

She is beautiful beyond comprehension.

She is tiny, teeny tiny, but packs a punch.

She doesn’t call me mama or mummy… just Mom (“C’mon Mom”).

She is entranced with her brother and whatever he does, no matter how big, she must do it too.

She climbs and contorts herself into the smallest spaces you could ever imagine (toy cubbies 3 feet off the ground, into kitchen cabinets, the 6″ space in between the top of a stool and the underneath of the countertop).

She knows what she wants and how she wants it (“Janey do it by herself… it’s Janey’s turn now.”)

She has a Who voice from Whoville.

She is the mouse.

She is an angel at school.  They want 20 of her.

She loves red patent leather boots.

She burps very loud.  And very often.  Then says “scoos me” and laughs.

She only wears things that her Dad tells her are very pretty.

She can count to ten in Greek and English.

Her favorite song is Itsy Bitsy Spider.

She loves to have her teeth brushed.

She loves to say “Scooby Doo… where are yooooouuuuuu?”

She sleeps the best when I am sleeping with her and she is tucked as tight as she can be to my side… but she hates blankets.

Her best friends are Sosie and Nah-nah.

She is amazing.